My little Irish grandmother.

Whenever my mom had a chemo appointment her mother comes to stay with us for a bit.

This wouldn't be an issue, and usually isn't, except my grandmother is seemingly incapable of using out appliances. Basically, mom brings Nana over to do laundry, cook, clean, and so on. All of these things could be done by me, but mom doesn't seem to think I'll step up to the plate and get things done, so Nana it is.

Nana has a bad habit of leaving to stove burners on and then wandering off to do something else, like...Smoke. Or talk to my mom. She didn't know how to turn them on when she first started coming over and then once she did she would just forget to turn them off. Which is, you know, kinda dangerous. I came downstairs once to find a rag on fire and had to throw it in the sink before it burnt the house down.

She knows how to use the laundry machines now but before I was constantly being called downstairs to open and close them, because she's little! My grandma is a tiny woman and the doors stick sometimes. She's found a trick to it or something at this point because I haven't been called down for awhile.

The dogs love her though. Every time she comes in the house they're barking and their entire rear end wiggles because they're so happy to see her. And she gives them treats. They're gonna weight twenty pounds by the time she leaves, and Terra is already fat.

Hee, I love my grandma. She's nice to have around even if I don't understand her sometimes. She's got a thick accent and I'm pretty sure she's had at least one stroke, so when she talks it's sometimes hard to make out the words. When she has had a few to drink (She is Irish) it's almost impossible for me to hold a conversation with her, it's more me laughing nervously so I don't hurt her feelings. A couple of drinks is enough to make her tipsy, she probably weighs ninety pounds.

Ahhh, grandma. I love you :P

Still friggen sick!

I only realized this weekend that I don't post much when I'm not going to school. Usually that's because I'm working and blogging before hand feels forced, but i had no excuse yesterday--No work! I actually got a Sunday off for once!

But because I was still sick and miserable on Saturday I did a horrible job closing and I just know it's going to come back and bite me in the ass. Of course I could try to tell them it was only partially my fault, Xal called me at seven twenty-one in the morning to ask if I was coming in for my shift---At three in the afternoon.

Yeah, it's the little things people. The little things make me hate individuals.

Anyway, I have to leave for class now, but before I go, a little something to start your day.



Mumph. Oh yeah baby :D

I almost -died- you guys.

I learnt at an early age that bicycles and cars rarely mix well.

When I was young, about twelve or so, one of my favorite things to do was tear about my scenic neighborhood on my bike. It was a bright pink that offended the eyes it was so vibrant, with multi-colored (And by multi-colored I mean various shades of pink) streamers coming from the handlebars and a dark red basket. I didn’t care that most people were blinded by the sheer amount of pink on my bike because it was mine, and my love for it knew no bounds.

At the end of my street where I often terrorized people with the aforementioned pink bike was a hill that sloped upwards at an angle I have only seen since then in math problems.

It was a monster hill, where buzzards circled it’s peak and getting to the top was a breathless hike. Even teenagers walked their bikes up this hill, and that was enough to make any twelve-year-old wary.

The day of my incident was a sunny and perfect day with a clear blue sky. The sun warmed the roads and my brother and I spent a time playing with some softened tar before an idea struck me. This was the day I would tackle the monster hill on my rudely pink bicycle. I swung one leg over the pale pink seat and announced my intentions to my smaller and therefore wimpier brother.

“I’m going to ride up the hill!” I said, my jaw squared and my nose in the air.

“I don’t want you to die!” Evan cried, latching his sticky hands to my leg before I shook him off and headed towards my new goal. My little heart fluttered in anticipation of the respect I would earn from the other kids on my street. I began to slowly pedal towards the highest point in my tiny life, and the victory to come.

I caught sight of a car with dents in the side and a horrible green-blue paintjob. Two people were sitting in the car and one person was easing into the drivers seat. He was young, and it looked like his parents may have been taking him on his first ride. I was unconcerned by these things, grimly focused on the task ahead of me. I pedaled faster so I could slide behind the car before it pulled into the street, not wanting to stop and ruin my momentum.

I reached the halfway point before tragedy struck and my front tire slid into the largest crack my naive mind had ever witnessed. I screamed as the bike jerked to the left and toppled over, trapping me underneath the steel deathtrap that had moments ago been my beloved bike. I screamed louder as the car began to back towards me.

I couldn’t believe I was about to be squished by an aqua-colored clunker.

I desperately tried to wiggle free but paused when the car lurched to a stop. The driver seemed to launch himself from behind the wheel and towards me. His face was bloodless and his eyes seemed too big for his face. I began to cry.

He helped me up, stuttering apologies and continually asking if I was alright. When it was established that none of my bones were broken and my limbs were in fact not squished I began the slow process of walking back home, sniffling the entire time.

My brother teased me for days and the next time I went up that hill, I walked my bike to the top.

Frig

I'm in class, trying not to barf. I didn't realize how bad I felt until I sat down in class and my stomach was all 'Lol! YOU MIGHT THROW UP!'

Me:WHYYYY?! *Dark cloud hovers over head*
Stomach: Cause I don't like you. Lawl.
Me: *Retch*

Someone, please. Help? :(

*Is Miserable*

I'm sick. It's the unpleasant truth. It's mostly in my throat and head but my stomach has been upset with the world for a few days too. I don't know if it's related to my throat problems or not but I'm willing to wager it is.

The only reason I'm choking down a couple of Advil and sucking on a hall is because I'm pretty sure today is the in-class writing assignment in my design writing class, and the professor said the only way you can miss it is if your doctor writes a note saying you weren't allowed to drag your IV into the class. Keeping that in mind, sick me is going to go in. I won't be happy about it, but I'll go.

Whenever I'm sick I always get that strange sensation that everyone and everything around me exist in a light fog. Like my mom, standing taking the nail polish off her fingernails. There's a strange quality of unreality to her movements.

I'm never sure if this is a high from medicine or my brain seeing things oddly while sick, but it's not a pleasant experience. It's like I'm the only normal one and everyone else is a little off. A little slower then they're supposed to be and a little blurry, like when i have one contact in and one out.

Of course I know it's me who is a little off. But it feels like it's the rest of the world and maybe that's okay when you're sick.

16-Key ME!

I found this on Life of a Middle-Aged student, and decided to try.

Cattell's 16 Factor Test Results Warmth |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74% Intellect |||||||||||||||||| 58% Emotional Stability ||||||||| 30% Aggressiveness |||||||||||||||||| 54% Liveliness |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74% Dutifulness |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74% Social Assertiveness |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86% Sensitivity |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82% Paranoia |||||||||||||||||| 58% Abstractness |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86% Introversion ||||||||| 22% Anxiety |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82% Openmindedness ||||||||||||||||||||| 70% Independence |||||||||||||||||| 54% Perfectionism ||||||||||||||| 42% Tension ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%

Take Cattell 16 Factor Test (similar to 16pf)
personality tests by similarminds.com

Pretty accurate, actually!

Jezze

Aye aye aye.

So much drama today. Amber's boyfriend is still a dork, I argued with The Boyfriend yesterday because I like to be needy once and awhile but it wasn't happening, because appearntly I don't compete with homework, and Now K's girlfriend has broken up with her and stupid me is on the other side of the country.

Jezze. Relationships fail once and awhile, you know? The Boyfriend's got school tonight and work before that, and I don't want to text him first because honestly, I'm still upset. He did homework for three hours straight and barely talked to me, and when I tried to get attention for the last half an hour before I had to go to bed he shrugged me off. So I went to bed.

I'm not kidding. I got changed, set my alarm, got into bed and shut off the light. Because if he can shrug me off then goddamnit, I can shrug him off. My dramatic 'Fuck you buddy' was marred when my mom made me get up to walk him to the door, but I think the message was pretty clear.

K's girlfriend has been pretty much the only wedge between her and I in the course of our friendship. I've always had a bit of a problem with her, but factors piled upon one another until I went from having a problem to really not liking her. But Because I love K I only brought it up once and awhile, not every time the girlfriend of K did something I disapproved of. Which was fairly often.

K lives in Alberta, far away from where the girlfriend of K lives, which is Indiana. I think? I can't remember, because I only really remember things I like. She lives far, is what I'm getting at.

Then they decided to have an 'Open' long distance relationship. So you know, they can date other people while dating one another. This always boggeled my mind, because I am a spiteful, jealous person and If I ever had an inkling that The Boyfriend was interested in someone else, she and all her friends would be stabbed. HE IS MY THE BOYFRIEND, THANKS.

So I guess yesterday the wonderful and soul-consuming K told the girlfriend of K that no, she's not okay with an open relationship, and was basically told by the now ex-girlfriend of K that she wasn't enough. I'm very pissed off on K's behalf. I am on the verge of calling her. But you know, she works and shit. So Instead I've thrown myself into homework. And it's coming along quite well, actually.

Bah

I don't have a lot of time to post, because Ashleigh didn't come in to work and my shift has been changed from 3-9 (Which I was excited about) to 12:30-9. I could have said no I can't work it, but my mom would get all pissy and I don't feel like dealing with that. I'm just gonna go in.

Last night was the company Christmas party and I had a great time, It was worth the twenty-five bucks I paid, in my opinion. The Boyfriend went only because I wanted to, and he didn't dance as much as I did.... But he is a guy, so it's okay. He came up with me without much fuss when I wanted to dance and that makes me happier then he could ever imagine. :)

But tonight is my family Christmas party and I'm so sad I wont be there from start to finish. The Boyfriend said he would drive me home after work, and I'm hoping I can maybe leave at eight instead of nine. I might ask the assistant store manager that's on duty today, hopefully he says yes.

I'll post again later when I'm not so crunched for time.

Ceemo wants you to avoid drugs!

Whootwhoot.

So I took a pretty quick catnap after class today, in between getting picked up by The Boyfriend and arriving at his house. He put on Fallout: New Vegas and played that while I slept--Until four. Holy crap man, I got there around one. a three hour catnap.

I only woke up because the Boyfriend put his freezing video gamer hands on my tummy to wake me up to go to Doug's house. Do you know who Doug is? No? I'll tell you.

Doug is The Boyfriends best friend who I was told about so many times before I actually met him. At the time The Boyfriend hadn't seen Doug for almost a year but still considered him his best friend, and I was pretty much told I wouldn't like Doug but he was a huge nerd and therefore awesome.

Only the second half was true. Doug is funny and mean but great. He's...You know House? The doctor? He's like that but not quite. He loves Soundgarden and Tool and Grunge bands.



This video is so creepy but he just watched it so I wanna see.

Anywho, The Boyfriend bought Doug some rum and the two of them are drinking it while I'm the DD. This is our communal birthday meet-up which has consisted of us listening to grunge music and watching some Futurama while waiting for Pizza, it's pretty fun. I'm not a big drinker anyway so I'm okay with not partaking in the alcohol. Plus I get to watch the two of them wrestle so... Yay :) Epically since Doug is Bi---He used to be gay but then he got a girlfriend who he had a lot of sex with, so now he's apparently bi. Good for him.

Anyway, he's rather fantastic and he demanded I write a blog post about him, and he's much more entertaining when drunk. The Boyfriend and Doug together just make the day that much better.

Ceemo--Click to enlarge.

*Sleepy*

I'm really tired.

I got home and into bed at one in the morning and had problems falling asleep because it was one of those times when your like "Goddamn it brain, go to sleep!" And your brain goes "Haha, NO! *:D*" (Source).

Then I finally fell asleep, but woke up again at four twenty-one in the morning. I didn't understand why but my nose felt funny. Like it was running.

I pressed the palm of my hand against my nose, pulled it back and reveled a dark blemish on my hand. Great. A nosebleed at four in the morning. That is just epic.

So I got up and ran to the bathroom, hand on my nose and a bit of panic in my heart, and stopped the bleeding. However, it felt like it was still bleeding so I stood there for an hour making sure it wasn't. When I went back to bed it was almost five.

What a fantastic way to start my day.

The early bird doesn't always get the worm. Somtimes it ends up late.

I woke up early this morning to print off the first major writing assignment for design writing. It's basically a course teaching you how to write concept statements about your work, and the best way to explain to a client what you were trying to accomplish. Class starts at nine so I got to the school twenty minutes early to be sure printing it off wouldn't be a problem.

It was. The first time I tried it printed, but half of my picture was cut off. I took a picture for you.


It's not readable, but you can clearly see only half of a picture. Not even half.

So I went to the IT guy who did the same thing and once again, half the picture shows but not the rest. I'm irritated. So I gave the paper I had to my professor and she seemed fine with it, which makes me happy. She just told me to send the full thing to her online so she can mark it properly.

But I spent almost an hour trying to print it and getting the IT guy's help. So do the math. I got there twenty minutes early but showed to class forty minutes late. Go me.

It's really overcast and rainy this morning, but i like it. Besides the fact that my right foot is soaking wet because there's a hole in the sole of my runner, I like rain. I don't like getting wet from rain, but rain itself if beautiful and always makes me smile.

But the rain got me thinking about how unhappy a lot of people are on overcast days, and that got me to thinking about the free hugs campaign. I thought about how something so simple and easy could brighten someone day and how I wanted to be a part of that.

Not hugs though. I feel like that could get me in some serious trouble with my parents. No, I want to do something that might not be huge to most people but will give them a glimmer of happy thoughts. And I want to be able to do it with someone, a few friends maybe.

I was sitting at the bus, watching cars whiz past when I came up with an idea. And all because of these.

They're rainbow stickers. Of smiley faces.

The Boyfriend bought them for me way back and I haven't used them all because even just seeing them makes me smile. So then I thought 'You know what would be cool? Stickers for smiles.'

So now I keep thinking of doing something where me and a few other people spend some money and buy some stickers. Then we go somewhere crowded and just hand them out to people with the condition that they smile.

I think it would be a great way to maybe meet some people, and maybe make someone's day. And I think I might try to do it. I doubt The Boyfriend would want to but... I really do.

Also, the CMO mascot is Ceemo. K chose it. :)

*BANNER jOY*

OH MY GOSH, YOU GUYS! SEE MY BANNER?

That's my new Blog mascot, made for me by the lovely Amber. Well she made the banner and inadvertently made my new mascot. We've been debating over whether or not he's a glass of chocolate milk or a chocolate marshmallow. However I'm trying to choose a name for him. I'm thinking Cmo. See-moe. C-MO? Hmmmmm.............How to spell it.

Seemoe.
C.Moe.
Ceemo

.....Hmuph.

Help? He's cute and deserves a name!

Anyway, The Boyfriend and his brothers are over in the corner joking and I'm having problems finding it adorable because my head hurts. I've also been informed i'm going to wild wings. I'm not excited.

Whoop, there it is!

Humm, I double posted last night. Stupid scheduling thing...

Anywho, I only have a few minutes before I head to school, and I was sitting on my hands so three of my fingers are asleep, so I'm going to just do this, until I get to school and can write more.

First, this.



*"IT GOES ON, AND ON AND ON AND ONNNN!"*

*Cough*
Now this!



*"SHES A KILLER, QUEEEEEEEN!"*
*Clears throat*
Andddddd...This.



*Sigh*....

Yes. Perfect. :)

Mornings...

Mornings are weird.

On the one hand, I kinda like mornings. As much as I love sleep (And believe me, I do.) I prefer waking up earlier to do things. If I have to work at twelve-thirty i'm more likely to wake up at eight, so I have four and a half hours to sit and do nothing and it doesn't feel like I'm spending my whole day at work. If I have nothing to do I'll either get up around ten and putt around all day in a haze of happy, or sleep in till the afternoon if I stayed up late.

However there is such a thing as too early. Getting up at six to get to school for eight feels like I'm forcing every step and making myself be in a good mood. It's more then just lethargy, it feels like I shouldn't be outside before the sun is up.

Of course it's going to get worse because it's winter, and therefore the sun will be up later and later each day, but I try not to think about that. My sleep cycle very much is a part of the suns movements, on rainy overcast days I'm more likely to stay in bed then get up. :P

I feel like maybe I'm not going to pass this semester, and I have to. I have to get my work done and do this but it's not for me. It's for my parents. They've told me that Christmas is going to be sparse this year because of our trip the the Dominican and my tuition.

I mean, I love graphic design. And I can see myself working as a designer to make advertisements and maybe even art for books or something. I want to have that. But when i feel pressure to do well it's not from my own head, it's from my parents telling me they're proud or my mom getting really excited over my type poster and saying mine will be the best in the class. I know it's not likely because there are so many talented people here, but hearing my mom say it makes me happier then a good mark any day.

*Cough*

Well!

I have a new friend. His name is John and I think he's pretty awesome. He is a huge Buffy nerd which earns him respect in my eyes. If you ever meet me and decide to say 'Buffy is so 90's' or 'Buffy? Lame.' I will be quite upset and launch into a rant about how Buffy was a launch board for powerful women and gay rights in the media blagh blagh blagh. About Buffy and Supernatural I am one of thoes asshole fans who defend their show until you either run away crying or punch me in the face. Even then I'll say you should watch the show so you can learn to punch better.

I love Buffy with all my soul. I also love Pokemon, which he likes too. This may turn out to be a wonderful friendship.

Wow, lots of posting.

I'm very glad to be me.

I'm not the smartest but I'm not stupid either. I have a great family for the most part, even though things aren't going so well with us I cans till sit back and look at the parents I have and the brother that annoys me and think I did pretty well. We have money. We're not rich but we're comfortable and that's all that really matters to me.

If I do well in this course I will come out of it with a good job. I want that in life. I want to be comfortable enough to buy the things I need and maybe go on vacation.

I have a good man in my life, but my life doesn't center around him. He's important and I love him, I see us together for a long time, but I have other things that I enjoy and other people who I care about. I don't see my boyfriend as the only person in my universe, just one of the most important.

I have a great friend who I love and would do anything for, and were she nearer we would be inseparable. She is one of those people who I know would have my back at any cost, and I tell her more things then possibly even Karl. I love her to bits.

I have a lot to be thankful for, I think.

New friendship rules.

I've made a handy guide on how to create more lasting friendships

1-Have good hygiene.
Be clean, friends. People don't like it if you smell.

2-Engage in conversation.
Having a good back-and-forth report with someone gives you chances to express yourself, and is a perfect way to slowly learn about one another. Talking constantly and interrupting the middle of stories to tell someone a different story that has nothing to do with the original story is not, and should be avoided.

3-Be friendly!
Calling people a chicken or pussy in what is meant to be a joking way, even though it really doesn't sound like a joke is a bad way to encourage people to talk with you. Compliments, favors, and inside jokes are the way to go.

4-Don't ask for too much too soon!
Putting faith in someone when they offer to do you a favor is a good way to build trust. However when asking for a favor, one shouldn't overstep the bounds of a friendship. If you don't know someone very well but want to, leaving small children with them or asking them to get things for you when it doesn't truly benefit them in any way is rude.

5-Avoid bragging.
There are three kinds of people that no one likes. A kiss-ass, a poser, and someone who thinks they're awesome in every way.
Every person is unique, and wearing certain clothes or listening to underground music doesn't make you any more or less different then the person sitting next to you. There is a fine line between bragging and being proud of something you've done, and when talking to potential new friends you need to be sure to keep yourself aware of that line.

6-Compliments!
Compliments must be genuine and spontaneous. Giving someone a compliment could be the highlight of their day, and getting one at random is even more exciting! Be sure to compliment them not not demean anyone when making friends.

*Sigh*

I sprained my ankle again, and it hurts like a mother. I've got bad ankles that make me walk like a duck because the ligaments are too short, so I have a bad habit of rolling them and spraining them. Today when I was at work my left foot seemed to magically find the only grape on the floor in the produce section, and I went down hard.

I was lying there for about a minute before some guy came over and helped me up. I honestly thought I had finally broken it like the defective little twig it is, but nay. My ankle has held strong. It's painful and I've been limping and crying for six hours because of it. The Boyfriend wants to bring me to the doctor but I don't see a point if it's not broken.

My computer ate one of my assignments yesterday, and doing it over again is so hard because my brains like "What? No, you finished this already silly. Go read cracked.com and have some fun!". I doubt I'm going to get it done and i may have to take a zero, because honestly I am going to kill myself if i have to do this over again. 14 hours I spent on the damn thing, then poof, gone.

I need a nap.

WHOO POSTER!

LOOKIT!

It's my type poster. I love it. :)

Internet musings, more photos (hopefully) and a huge helping dash of Neighbors sucking.

I don't understand how or why, but apparently the upstairs bathroom gets four bars of internet while the upstairs living room barely gets one. I'm confused by this. The bathroom is.....twelve steps away from the living room. Yes, I totally got up and walked to the living room just to count. Wouldn't you?

Thinking about it now, even my bedroom gets two bars, and it's....four steps from here (I got up again). I'm thinking of getting up with my laptop and testing where the great internet ends and the shitty internet begins. But that requires a lot of wandering somewhere and pausing until I can see the change in the bars, and I'm pretty sure my dad already thinks I'm insane. So I might hold off until a day he's not home.

Second half of my photo shoot is happening today. I get a mom-approved reason to call in sick to work. I work at twelve-thirty, but the first half of the shoot is from ten to eleven and the second half is from five to six... I think.

I don't have to go, really. I have all the pictures I need, but I'm doing it so if Evee can't get her sister to model for her she won't just be taking pictures of the lights. I think it's rather nice of me, considering I could be working and making some money. But oh well.

My neighbor N doesn't like me anymore. She used to be okay with me, but she has me on Facebook and I wrote an angry status about my mother that at one point called her a bitch. It was stupid, yes, but I'm used to only my friends caring about my facebook status and not anyone else. And most people know that yes, my mom is an insane bitch. This doesn't mean I don't love her. She just seems to choose the wrong battles. I got in trouble last week for throwing a piece of useless cardboard in the recycling.

Yep. For cleaning up. That's what I got in trouble for. You see my point?

But now, whenever N calls the house and realizes it's me she (too) politely asks if my mom is home and if she can talk to her. She used to ask me how school was going, or how The Boyfriend and I are doing, but now she just quickly asks for my mother and says nothing else.

Not that I really care. The woman has three kids and all of them are stuck up little shits who can apparently do no wrong. I've never really liked any of them except the youngest, B.

Ni is a year younger then me but we have nothing in common, because he's honestly a jerk. He got into Queens and continually rubbed my nose in it until any of my friends who got into Queens had a diminished reputation in my eyes. He is so high an mighty its not even funny anymore, just pathetic. My parents make fun of him too, that's how bad he is.

The doesn't mean they don't compare me to him at every opportunity. "K got into Queens! Why aren't you in Queens?" "K just got his G2. You don't have yours. You should be doing that." Oh whatever, mom and dad. K is also a fucking asshole, want me to get on that too? N's just as bad. She was in my backyard when I mentioned I was taking the bus to work, to meet up with The Boyfriend and go to a movie. N came out with this little gem. "Well K was just about to leave, but I'm sure he'd give you a ride. He loves carting 20-year-old girls around!" She then proceeded to laugh as if it were the funniest thing ever.

I don't think it's the funniest thing ever. I think it's insulting, and I'm glad you don't know how much of a pain your kids were turning into. You'd probably die realizing you turned you son into a stuck-up little jerk who thinks it's okay to call me fat while playing the video game I bought for my brother on the PlayStation I helped pay for.

Blog changes!

I've been fiddling with my layout a bit. I really like the new background. :)

I make a lot of things on photoshop, being graphic design and all, do I really like this a lot. the black and little splashes of color with the white text look really neat. I'm in the process of making a banner and maybe editing some more backgrounds to make them more blog-friendly. I don't like the big line that cuts off one part from the other. Maybe some blending...Hmmm...

Ah, So much fun.

Drawwwwwing.

We drew a naked lady in Drawing class today. I actually had a lot of fun. Everyone else seemed nervous and unhappy about it but I was downright pumped. And supernatural is on tonight! YAY!

*Happy Joy*

The Boyfriend and I are working on our book, getting chapter five up and rolling. It's going so well that I can't help but be excited. As soon as we get this chapter done the story will really get underway with the real story.

I'm having a good day. :D

Photo shoot!

I did the first part of my photo shoot with FTCR tonight. I had so much fun! I brought Laura and The Boyfriend and I gotta say, I was surprised how game The Boyfriend was in front of the camera. Sure, he made the moans and complaints that were expected of him but he ultimately did it. Amber's boyfriend wouldn't even try, and I felt bad for her cause it made things a teeny bit weird. We got over it pretty quick and I had a lot of fun. Here's a few of the better shots.
Laura is so pretty! <3 onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmeZ21GSZvGJ27IZm5LY5_wkxwv0o9JqaWTgev4cXpjzrBbTVxq_AqAtw3SClTB4R2QDZIO-hayuBeQEkLnwlSJ7jqgIUcA0JujhoT1LE9QzvHR0p0wtK57P0jHiv7pcxu1TcsojsyZSo/s1600/IMG_5121.JPG">
PUT IT DOWN, LAURA! CHAIRS ARE FOR SITTING, NOT BEATING.Haha, Wow. This is the only one I liked cause you can't see all of my huge arms in it.

I love that picture. :)

This one is white washed, but I loved his 'Thinker' pose so much I stuck it up there.

D'awww. *cuddles*
She is the cutest thing ever.
Aw, Amber. See? I rest my case.

Oh, there's a story behind this picture. I told The Boyfriend to do his creepy stalker face at Laura, and this is what he came up with.

Awesome. Am I right?

I'm doing more on Saturday with Evee, so we'll see how it goes.

Oh man, I'm a loser. *UPDATED*

So I was reading this post while the teacher was doing attendance.

Teacher- George?
George- Here.
Teacher- Amber?
Amber- Here.
Teacher- Tamara?
Me- Spiders. I mean here!

Oh yeah man. I'm awesome.

*edit*

RAWR

It's been a long time since I posted. Well not now, cause i just put something up, but I feel guilty. Every time I do something that isn't posting on here I feel it's a little bit of time wasted. So I'll do a bunch of updates at once! Wheeee!

Work has been hell lately, and the main reason for my lack of posting. I've worked four days in a row, which is crazy fro me, and there's a lot of pressure to preform well. Xal went on vacation for 11 days. This was a stupid thing for him to do, because the lobster tank is being taken out and sent to the company to be fixed, and the seafood manager--Not for the district, or the region, but for the country--Is coming in today. I spent all of last night polishing chrome and cleaning floors. The department looked great when I left, but I'm still paranoid that I didn't do a good enough job and I'm gonna get the girl who opened in trouble.

Everyone's been so stressed at work about this guy coming in that the pressure has trickled down from the store manager to the lowly part-timer (Me). It's ridiculous how much I scrubbed last night. I didn't even get to the cooler cause I started at 3, and it was a little worse because I haven't had a break from work in four days, each shift a closing and each at least six hours long. I haven't been able to hang out with The Boyfriend very long, or Laura at all. It makes me sad.

School isn't helping my stress level either. I'm getting a 90 in design writing, 87 in digital illustration, 73 in art of photography and a 68 in history of media. I'm pretty much failing the three other courses. I've been missing school because of my mom but I feel like every time i say it I'm making excuses. I'm just not handling the course load very well. Of course no one knows this, I don't talk about it to anyone but K. But I feel bad when I do because she's got her own things going on.

Mom...Well. She's lost all her hair now so she's been pretty down but she seems to be getting over it. And she had another Chemo treatment on Monday. She'll be sick today and tomorrow.

I'm not handling things well but I think most people think I am. I just really don't want to talk about it, and every time someone brings it up I do my best to answer their questions and change the subject in the most impolite way possible. If I want to talk about it, I'll bring it up. I don't want to be grilled. And while I understand they're just concerned it doesn't change the fact that I'm not really comfortable talking about it. Except with K. And The Boyfriend, though he doesn't know it. He's pretty much the best boyfriend ever and I'm so lucky to have someone willing to drop everything to be my knight in shining armor, or to deal with the times I just randomly snap at him because I'm stressed and he's there. I love him so much...

Bah, now I sound sappy. And I want cuddles. Pah.

WWQ---Commitment post

I can't give any details, but I'm starting a WWQ with Katie on Monday, and I think I'm going to do the updates every two days.

Part of the WWQ is we can't discuss it with others---So here is the format for the posts.

Day-(Monday and Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, Friday Saturday and Sunday)

Did you cheat?
K-Yes/No
Tamara-Yes/No

Which rule did you break?
K-(Number of rule broken if applicable)
Tamara-(Number of rule broken if applicable)

Punishment
K-(Punishment given if applicable)
Tamara-(Punishment given if applicable)

Side notes
This will include rules that may be adjusted, previous punishments and the reactions to them, and anything else that will make us laugh and encourage us.

Numbers, anyone?
K-(Number)
Tamara-(Number)

Why chocolate is better then..

Sex.

See, chocolate is amazing. Chocolate is better then almost everything. And right now, I think chocolate is better then sex. Why, you ask?

You can have chocolate basically whenever you want.

Think about your favorite kind of chocolate. Just picture it in your head. I'm waiting, don't worry. Is it the lush and velvety but refreshingly classic Jersey milk chocolate? Is it the bouncy and addicting Areo bar? Does the sweet burst of caramel make you crave a single square from the Caramilk bar of your dreams?

No think of the closest 24-hour connivance store. Think of the things you can buy there. Is your favorite chocolate bar there? I bet it is. I bet it's sitting on the rack under the counter with the (for some reason) incredibly alert ethnic person behind it. I bet it's calling your name right now.

I also bet you can get in your car, right this very second, and drive there. And buy one. And eat it.

Not so with sex, depending on who you are. If you're single and not overly promiscuous you're pretty much stuck by yourself (though that's not always bad). If you are a bit of a slut, call up your favorite booty call at four in the morning on a Tuesday night, see how receptive they are.

If you're in a committed long term relationship I hope it's not long distance, because calling someone long-distance for phone sex is expensive, and plane tickets are even worse. If they are close you're going to have to make sure no one's parents or siblings are home (And believe me, someone is always home). If you're at the age where you don't live with the parental units then great! But do you have roommates? Or thin walls?

If you live together and have no kids then congrats, you are the couple most likely to have sex. Just not too late cause you have work in the morning.

You can easily control your enjoyment of chocolate.

Now I'm assuming you have your chocolate. If not, go get some. Or just use your fantastic imagination.

Look at it. In it's clean, crisp wrapper. It's calling to you. You're going to open it. Are you going to tare the wrapper in two while your muscles bulge and you scream in triumph? Are you going to slowly and lovingly remove that wrapper and savor the wonderful smell of it?

Take your first bite, and savory each second that it slowly melts on your tongue. Enjoy it as long as you can. Every wonderful, melted second is a second of joy.

Now for this second bite I want you to eat pretty much half of the entire bar. Just rip into it and consume it. Make that chocolate bar your bitch.

Now look at your lover and try to make him your bitch. Maybe not now, because it's one in the morning and he's probably sleeping. Do some kinky S&M stuff. I suggest blindfolding him and gagging him before he wakes up. What? He didn't like it? He's not in 'The mood'. Well what does he want?

Oh, he wants tender and gentle. Well... But you're not in the mood for that, are you?

But you do want sex. So you're gonna go along with him? Okay. I mean, it's not what you want, but I guess...

But even if you do want gentle loving 'connections' it's not guaranteed, is it? If he's playing a video game giving him a back rub or nuzzling him might be mistaken as just affection. Rubbing fun places is more brazen, but sometimes not enough to *stimulate*. You could just ask, but...That ruins a bit of it, doesn't it? Not a lot, mind you, but you want something like the (romance) novel you just read. Telling someone what to do wasn't in this particular book. Alan, the rich, handsome, cold widower and his sudden flaming desire for his chef Michelle was, and dammit you want to re-enact the scene when he does nasty things on the table while professing his undying love.

Which reminds me..

You can't have sex anywhere.

Say you bought two bars of chocolate for today because dammit, you felt like indulging. You can stick that bar in your purse or satchel (I don't judge, man) and bring it to work with you. You can chow down on the train and just enjoy that little bar of happy for awhile. Board meetings, school, at home or on a plane, you can eat it practically anywhere.

Can you have sex at a pleasant meeting with the in-laws? Can sex truly be enjoyed in the middle of class? Not unless you live in WWW.NAUGHTYAMERICA.COM

Sure, sex has human connection. And chocolate has calories and things that make you fat. But honestly? Chocolate is sometimes much better, and much easier.

*Loves Caramilk like WOAH*

Well.

My birthday started out win.

Now it's epic fail. And I can't sleep.

I just wish all the drama would happen on someone else's birthday, and not mine.

When I tuned 18, one of the girls I invited brought my ex-best friend. She got a phone call from her boyfriend saying he was coming to get her right now, and my ex best friend made the logical assumption that her mom was dead. She burst into tears right there in the restaurant, and I had no idea what to do.

Then, for yesterdays birthday, one of the girls I invited is Laur-rah-rah's ex girlfriend, who is dating one of my best friends, and Laur-rah-rah dosen't like it. Nor do I, because Said best friend is 21 and the girl he's dating is 17.

Now I find out he loves her, and since I'm not cool with the two of them i know I'm not going to be seeing him much anymore.

So I blocked him and de-friended him and whatnot, to avoid him having to choose and me feeling like crap when he doesn't choose me. Because i wouldn't expect him to choose me over the girl he loves.

Even if the girl is 17 and therefore illegal, has been dating him for a month, lives on the other side of the province and hasn't actually seen him in the time they've been dating.

Now I can't sleep cause I'm so upset. I thought maybe blogging would help but.... Maybe not. What I really need is to talk to someone about it, but The Boyfriend and the beauteous and busty K are sleeping and....I don't know anymore. Maybe I'm just destined to not have friends.

This may not have helped. But I feel a little better and maybe I'll actually get some sleep before i wake up at seven tomorrow.

Honestly, why can't shit like this happen on...not my birthday.

I'll explain more later. Right now, I need to try to sleep.