Dear Bioware....

Dear Bioware,


I think we need to break up.


I like you enough and all, but it's clear to me that you don't care enough about me as a woman and in general, as a person, to commit to greatness.


We had a good run of it in Dragon Age:Origins. I fell in love with your lovingly crafter characters and unique worlds. I loved the racist and bitchy elves and thier plight with the Werewolves, the slow moving world the dwarves inhabited. I enjoyed the mages turning into scary, grotesque creatures and I learnt to never, EVER touch the small glass vial. I adored you for the way you made Dragon Age:Origins a whole life and a whole world for you to live it in.


But most of all, I loved you for the people. The people who you talked with and annoyed, who you kissed and insulted and laughed with. I loved Alister and his geeky adoreableness, even if it was ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE at some points to bone him. I loved Shale's fear of birds. I loved Zevran. Morrigan was a huge bitch and Lil was an entertaining little flower. They were almost real people, and I remember when Alister and I finally got it on I nearly danced with joy. When he dumped me cause I was an elf I cursed like a sailor, and may have teared up a little.


And then I played the expansion and thought 'They aren't going to make the next game like this, are they?'. I clicked objects to interact with people and that was the only real way to learn about my new companions, companions that I eventaully didn't care about anymore because I knew almost nothing about them. They were no longer the interesting, loveable characters that I knew.


Then The Boyfriend started looking up details about DA2 and began to freak me out. Qunari have horns? Sten was just a genitic fluke? Then why did -EVERY OTHER- Qunari look like him? I took some deep breaths and tried to rationalize retconning an entire race.


Then I discovered that the dialoge system was turning into the MASS EFFECT VERSION.

This? This is -BAD-.

This is GOOD!

WHYYYY?!?! *Cries*

I was so upset, Bioware. I can understand wanting to appeal to a wider demographic, but you already got me playing DA, you didn't have to do this!

DA2 was such a huge letdown, Bioware. I spent 90% of the game in one place, which wasn't changed in any way. Not even a little re-dressing, just the same place with new fights. The charcters were interesting and fun but you barely got a chance to figure that out, because I could only talk to them when it was quest-related. The backstory I did discover made me want to know more, but I had no chances to just chat with them for no reason. Yes, the fighting was nice and much smoother but I don't play for the fighting! I play for how wonderful your people are and how much I love your wonderful places.

I am so sorry bioware, but the lack of naked man chest combined with a dry story and hateful character interaction made this game almost unplayable. :(

So we're done. Unless I see proof that DA3 is going to be better.

Sadly not yours any longer,

Tamara.

Hmmmmph

Fist snowfall of winter was yesterday everyone!

Anyway. I'm pretty tired lately and I think its the stress of exam times and being sick combined. I feel like I could just sleep for hours and hours.

That's all I feel like writing. You see!? Usually I would go on for paragraphs and paragraphs about why and how I feel tired, but instead, I'm going to go read cracked.com for awhile.

*Is Miserable*

I'm sick. It's the unpleasant truth. It's mostly in my throat and head but my stomach has been upset with the world for a few days too. I don't know if it's related to my throat problems or not but I'm willing to wager it is.

The only reason I'm choking down a couple of Advil and sucking on a hall is because I'm pretty sure today is the in-class writing assignment in my design writing class, and the professor said the only way you can miss it is if your doctor writes a note saying you weren't allowed to drag your IV into the class. Keeping that in mind, sick me is going to go in. I won't be happy about it, but I'll go.

Whenever I'm sick I always get that strange sensation that everyone and everything around me exist in a light fog. Like my mom, standing taking the nail polish off her fingernails. There's a strange quality of unreality to her movements.

I'm never sure if this is a high from medicine or my brain seeing things oddly while sick, but it's not a pleasant experience. It's like I'm the only normal one and everyone else is a little off. A little slower then they're supposed to be and a little blurry, like when i have one contact in and one out.

Of course I know it's me who is a little off. But it feels like it's the rest of the world and maybe that's okay when you're sick.

*Sigh*

I sprained my ankle again, and it hurts like a mother. I've got bad ankles that make me walk like a duck because the ligaments are too short, so I have a bad habit of rolling them and spraining them. Today when I was at work my left foot seemed to magically find the only grape on the floor in the produce section, and I went down hard.

I was lying there for about a minute before some guy came over and helped me up. I honestly thought I had finally broken it like the defective little twig it is, but nay. My ankle has held strong. It's painful and I've been limping and crying for six hours because of it. The Boyfriend wants to bring me to the doctor but I don't see a point if it's not broken.

My computer ate one of my assignments yesterday, and doing it over again is so hard because my brains like "What? No, you finished this already silly. Go read cracked.com and have some fun!". I doubt I'm going to get it done and i may have to take a zero, because honestly I am going to kill myself if i have to do this over again. 14 hours I spent on the damn thing, then poof, gone.

I need a nap.

RAWR

It's been a long time since I posted. Well not now, cause i just put something up, but I feel guilty. Every time I do something that isn't posting on here I feel it's a little bit of time wasted. So I'll do a bunch of updates at once! Wheeee!

Work has been hell lately, and the main reason for my lack of posting. I've worked four days in a row, which is crazy fro me, and there's a lot of pressure to preform well. Xal went on vacation for 11 days. This was a stupid thing for him to do, because the lobster tank is being taken out and sent to the company to be fixed, and the seafood manager--Not for the district, or the region, but for the country--Is coming in today. I spent all of last night polishing chrome and cleaning floors. The department looked great when I left, but I'm still paranoid that I didn't do a good enough job and I'm gonna get the girl who opened in trouble.

Everyone's been so stressed at work about this guy coming in that the pressure has trickled down from the store manager to the lowly part-timer (Me). It's ridiculous how much I scrubbed last night. I didn't even get to the cooler cause I started at 3, and it was a little worse because I haven't had a break from work in four days, each shift a closing and each at least six hours long. I haven't been able to hang out with The Boyfriend very long, or Laura at all. It makes me sad.

School isn't helping my stress level either. I'm getting a 90 in design writing, 87 in digital illustration, 73 in art of photography and a 68 in history of media. I'm pretty much failing the three other courses. I've been missing school because of my mom but I feel like every time i say it I'm making excuses. I'm just not handling the course load very well. Of course no one knows this, I don't talk about it to anyone but K. But I feel bad when I do because she's got her own things going on.

Mom...Well. She's lost all her hair now so she's been pretty down but she seems to be getting over it. And she had another Chemo treatment on Monday. She'll be sick today and tomorrow.

I'm not handling things well but I think most people think I am. I just really don't want to talk about it, and every time someone brings it up I do my best to answer their questions and change the subject in the most impolite way possible. If I want to talk about it, I'll bring it up. I don't want to be grilled. And while I understand they're just concerned it doesn't change the fact that I'm not really comfortable talking about it. Except with K. And The Boyfriend, though he doesn't know it. He's pretty much the best boyfriend ever and I'm so lucky to have someone willing to drop everything to be my knight in shining armor, or to deal with the times I just randomly snap at him because I'm stressed and he's there. I love him so much...

Bah, now I sound sappy. And I want cuddles. Pah.

Well.

My birthday started out win.

Now it's epic fail. And I can't sleep.

I just wish all the drama would happen on someone else's birthday, and not mine.

When I tuned 18, one of the girls I invited brought my ex-best friend. She got a phone call from her boyfriend saying he was coming to get her right now, and my ex best friend made the logical assumption that her mom was dead. She burst into tears right there in the restaurant, and I had no idea what to do.

Then, for yesterdays birthday, one of the girls I invited is Laur-rah-rah's ex girlfriend, who is dating one of my best friends, and Laur-rah-rah dosen't like it. Nor do I, because Said best friend is 21 and the girl he's dating is 17.

Now I find out he loves her, and since I'm not cool with the two of them i know I'm not going to be seeing him much anymore.

So I blocked him and de-friended him and whatnot, to avoid him having to choose and me feeling like crap when he doesn't choose me. Because i wouldn't expect him to choose me over the girl he loves.

Even if the girl is 17 and therefore illegal, has been dating him for a month, lives on the other side of the province and hasn't actually seen him in the time they've been dating.

Now I can't sleep cause I'm so upset. I thought maybe blogging would help but.... Maybe not. What I really need is to talk to someone about it, but The Boyfriend and the beauteous and busty K are sleeping and....I don't know anymore. Maybe I'm just destined to not have friends.

This may not have helped. But I feel a little better and maybe I'll actually get some sleep before i wake up at seven tomorrow.

Honestly, why can't shit like this happen on...not my birthday.

I'll explain more later. Right now, I need to try to sleep.